Final Fantasy 8, my way!
by Leucitecitrine
Summary: My version of FFVIII. Please be nice in your reviews and please tell me if you have any segestions to improve the story. Thank you!


I don't own FF.

Squall--Villain wannabe

Rinoa--Rapper

Zell--Intelligent

Selphie--Squall

Irvine--Girl

Quistis--Bossy spoiled kid

---------------------------------

We are in the Infirmary of Balamb Garden. Squall woke up.  
Dr. Kadowaki: How are you feeling?  
Squall: Whoever did this to me... SHALL PAY!  
Dr. Kadowaki: Take it easy next time, you hear? Looks like your eyes are focusing. You should be fine. Say your name for me.  
Squall: I shall never reveal my identity to the likes of you!  
Dr. Kadowaki: Why don't you take it easy in training? Next time you might not be so lucky.  
Squall: It was my arch enemy Seifer. HE SHALL SUFFER!  
Dr. Kadowaki: That Seifer... Won't listen to anyone. Why don't you ignore him?  
Squall: I shall never submit to him!  
Dr. Kadowaki: You wanna be cool, huh? Well, don't get hurt in the process. Let's see, your instructor is... Quistis! I'll call her now. Just wait here a minute. (calling Quistis) Quistis? Come get your student. Yes, yes. His injury's not serious. It'll probably leave a scar. ...Right. Now please come by.  
A woman came and looked at Squall in bed.  
Ellone: Squall...so we meet again.  
We watch a movie of Quistis coming in to see Squall.  
Quistis: Squall-y! Come on, let's goooooo. Today's the field exam.  
While Squall and Quistis is on their way to the classroom...  
Quistis: Squall-y. Are yoo thinking bout sumthin?  
Squall: ... IMBECILE!  
Quistis: ... Imbecile. Hahaha!  
Squall: How dare you laugh at me! Quistis: Yoo so funny. I'm happy. I feel like I'm beginning to understand Squall-y poo. That's all.  
Squall: How dare you mock me!  
Quistis: Then tell me. Tell me more about yourself Squall-y.  
Squall: Do not question me!  
Quistis: ...MEEEEEEEE!  
We watch a movie of the view of Balamb Garden. Later in the study hall...  
Quistis: Mornin kids. Let's start with the schedule. There have been some rumours about the exam thing-y... Yes, the field exam for the flowers will begin later. The failures stay here so I can laugh at them. The brainiacs are free until I say so. Meet in hall at 4:29 and 7 seconds EXACTLY! Don't be LATE! I'll announce the team assignments there. Any questions? (to Seifer) Oh, and Seifer! Do NOT injure my Squall-y poo because I LOVE HIM!  
Seifer started to cry.  
Quistis: Field exam participants, DON'T BE LATE! (to Squall) And Squall-y, I needs to talk to yoo. Squall talks to Quistis.  
Quistis: Yoo haven't been to the Fire Cavern yet dum dum? You won't be able to take part in today's Flower exam if you don't pass this prequistis-y thing.  
Squall: I never make a mistake! Quistis: Hm? Do you have a good excuse?  
Squall: Imprudent child. I shall SMITE YOU!  
Quistis: Then let's gooooooooo. If yoo is still that stuuupid, GO SEE THE STUDY PANEL! I'll be waiting at the front gate, so don't get lost! The study panel is at your desk! Dum dum.  
Quistis left.  
Squall goes to his study seat and gets two Guardian Forces Quezacotl and Shiva.  
Squall gets out, then...  
Selphie: ... I'm late. (bumped into Squall) ...  
Squall: How DARE you bump into ME!  
Selphie: ...Whatever. Did I miss homeroom?  
Squall: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Selphie: ...Whatever.  
Squall proceeds to the front gate. At that area...  
Quistis: Ok squall-y. I'd explain how to use GFs but I think you need to use you're brain. The Fire Cavern used for the test is located east of here.  
In the cave...  
Quistis: Ok, lets gooooooo! Oh! You know how to use your gunblade...?  
Squall: Of course! How dare you insinuate that I don't!  
Quistis: Oh, OK. I was just making sure. I know how dumb you are. All right, let's gooooo!  
They meet the Balamb guards near the cave.  
Balamb Guard: Objective: To obtain a low-level GF. A SeeD member must support. Are you ready?  
Squall: IMBECILE.  
Quistis: And I'm his support. Instructor No. Blahblahblah, Quistis Trepe.  
Balamb Guard: Select a time limit. Choose one suited to your abilities. Challenging yet reasonable.  
Squall: INFINITY!  
Balamb Guard: Very well. Good luck.  
Inside the cave...  
Quistis: I'm here to make sure yoo don't screw up.  
Squall: I never screw up, For I am SQUALL!  
As they continue to move on...  
Quistis: You know, the boys often choke on this test when I come with them. I guess my charm makes them nervous.  
Squall: Yeah right!  
Quistis: HEY!  
Later as Squall and Quistis reach their destination...  
Quistis: So yoo made it without running out of infinite time. Big whoop.  
Squall and Quistis get closer and...  
Quistis: Don't screw up now.  
Squall and Quistis fight Ifrit. After Squall and Quistis win the fight...  
Ifrit: For me to lose to a human... Very well, I will join you.  
Later...  
Quistis: There's a lot of Fire elemental monsters here, so junction Blizzard to your Elem-Atk. You'll have an easier time with Fire elemental enemies. DUH!  
Later back in Balamb Garden...  
Quistis: Fine! Now change into your uniform and assemble at the 1F Lobby.  
After Squall changes to his uniform, he meets Quistis at the lobby.  
Quistis: Squall-y! Over here! I'll be announcing the squad assignments for the exam now. Let's see... You'll be with... Zell Dincht. HAHA SUCKER!  
Squall: NOOOOO! I must switch members!  
Quistis: Yoo can't so HA! Over here, Zell!  
We watch a movie of Zell walking up wearing glasses, a business suit and carrying a book under his arm.  
Zell: So, it appears I have been teamed up with you. I have noticed that you do not get along with Seifer. I heard he defeated you in combat this morning.  
Squall: I am UNDEFEATABLE! Besides, we were training.  
Zell: Seifer most likely did not come to the same conclusion. Maby you would be better off ignoring him.  
Squall: Do not tell me what to do!  
Quistis: HELLOOOOO... Seifer's you boss man for the mission.  
Zell: Come again?  
Quistis: I'm not changing iiiiiiiiiiiit. Seifer!  
Seifer, Raijin and Fujin arrived.  
Squall: They have come.  
Quistis: (to Seifer) You're the boss man for this mission. Good luck!  
Seifer: ...Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student that needs them!  
Quistis: OK then. Good luck, Seifer.  
Seifer: Waahhhhhhhh!  
Squall: I demand you stop that crying!  
Quistis: OOOOOOOOK. You're all assigned to Squad B. I'm in charge. Be nice to each other!  
Seifer: WAHHHHHHHHHH!  
Headmaster Cid: Everyone here? (to everyone) It's been a while everyone. How's everyone doing? This exam will involve 12 members from Squads A through D... You will be proceeding to a real battlefield. Obviously, the battles are for real. Life and death, victory and defeat, honor and disgrace... Each of these go hand in hand. There's only one way or the other. How 'bout it? Are you still up for it? You will be accompanied by 9 SeeD members. Should you fail, these members shall get the job done. They always do. Well that's one less worry on your mind. The pride of Balamb Garden! The elite mercenary force, SeeD! Learn from them, obey their commands and accomplish the mission. Prove yourself worthy of becoming a member of SeeD. Best of luck.  
Squall's group takes a car to Balamb. Inside the car while the car is moving...  
Zell: Squall, would you please show me your gunblade? Research purposes of course.  
Squall: Touch my gunbalde and DIE!  
Zell: I see..  
Squall: DIE!  
Zell: Well then...  
Squall: DIE!  
Zell: I understand, I suppose...  
Squall: DIE!  
Zell: You may stop saying die now.  
Squall: DIE!  
Quistis: ...Die.  
Zell: ...  
Seifer: Stop saying die. You're scaring me.  
Zell: You need to learn to not be so afraid.  
Seifer: WAHHHHH!  
Quistis: (to Zell and Seifer) Knock it off!  
Squall: Little girl, who was that Imbecile in the infirmary this morning?  
Quistis: I dunno. Why?  
Squall: An imbecile like you would not understand.  
Seifer: Why haven't I seen the imbecile? I don't get anything! Waaaaahhhhhhh!  
Later the car reached Balamb and in the dock...  
Squall: Puny vessel...  
Seifer: It's so BIIIIIG... WAHHHHH!  
Garden Staff: Hey! You guys are the last! Hurry up and get in!  
Seifer: Don't yell at me! Wahhhhhhhhh!

Quistis: Goooooooo! Hurry, dum dums!  
Inside the assault boat after it takes off...  
Xu: Hi, Quistis.  
Quistis: These are the dum dums of squad B.  
Zell: Pleased to meet you.  
Squall: IMBECILE!  
Xu: Seifer, how many times has it been now?  
Seifer: It's not my fault...  
Xu: I'll explain the current situation and the mission. Be seated!  
Everyone takes a seat.  
Xu: Our client for this mission is the Dollet Dukedom Parliament. A request for SeeD was made 18 hours ago. Dollet has been under attack by the G-Army since about 72 hours ago. 49 hours into the battle, Dollet abandoned their position in the inner city. Currently, they have retreated into the nearby mountains and are reorganising their troops. That's the current status. Now onto the mission objective. According to our reports, the G-Army is mopping up the Dollet troops in the mountain region. We're to make a landing at Lapin Beach. We're to eliminate the remaining G-Army within the city and liberate it A.S.A.P. Afterwards, SeeD members will intercept any G-Army forces trying to make their way into the city from the mountain region.  
Seifer: ...WAHHHHHHH!  
Xu: SeeD candidates are to eliminate the G-Army inside the city.  
Zell: I see...  
Seifer: I don't wanna!  
Xu: ... Oh, it hardly needs to be said, but... The order to withdraw takes priority. Do not forget. We're almost there. We anticipate a battle as soon as we disembark. Just be prepared. That's all. Any questions, talk to Quistis.  
Xu left.  
Squall: (Hmmm...) (Talk to Quistis.)  
Quistis: What?  
Squall: EXPLAIN!  
Quistis: Here's a quick explanation for the dum dums. The goal of the mission is to destroy the Galbadian forces in Dollet. When we say withdraw, you withdraw. Got it?  
Squall: (Hmmm...) (Talk to Seifer.)  
Seifer: Listen to me when I order you around. And don't make fun of meeeeeeeeee!  
Squall: (Hmmm...) (Talk to Zell.)  
Zell: It is very nerve racking being in my first battle. Please try your best.  
Seifer: You think I'm gonna fail don't you?  
Zell: I am afraid you misunderstood me.  
Seifer: WAHHHHHH!  
Zell: ...  
Quistis: STOP TALKING!  
Xu: We'll be landing soon. Get ready.  
Zell: Understood.  
Squall: IMBECILES!  
Seifer: (to Squall) Look outside and tell me if it's scary!  
Squall: HOW DARE YOU!  
Seifer: I'll stop crying if you go.  
Squall goes outside. We watch a movie of Squall looking at the map and that they stop at Dollet.


End file.
